Things You Should Never Say If You Want Your Child to Be Successful
The earliest experiences of a child shape his developing brains and stabilisers a pattern which can last for a lifetime. Parents play a key role in the development of child. Their behaviours and actions can have a significant impact on the future outcomes of a child. In this blog, we will discuss some common mistakes done by parents which they shouldn’t say to their child.
Role of words in child development
A child’s self-image is shaped by words used by parents. A child can feel like a superhero or a super villain through the words. Verbal abuse, criticism or ridicule can heighten up the fight response in the brain and thus trigger the release of cortisol which is a stress hormone. The chronic exposure to stress and cortisol can empire emotional development and brain which may lead to negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety and behavioural problems.
Language plays a key role in shaping the personality, beliefs and values of a child. Recent studies have shown that reading a book with a positive and uplifting message can actually have a positive impact on the self-esteem and emotional well-being of the child. Books which encourage the sense of optimism, resilience and self-efficacy in children should be promoted at a wider level.
On the contrary, exposure to critical language and negative comments can have detrimental effect on the self-esteem, self-regulation, cognitive development and emotional regulation of a child. The words and attitudes through which a parent or caregivers choose for their child affects the value and belief system of little beings.
When they are constantly exposed to critical negative comments about certain section of people, it can lead to the development of discriminatory beliefs or prejudice in child. Suffice to say, parents have a powerful influence on the development of child and their well-being. Keeping that in your mind, you should restrain yourself from any critical harsh remark in order to ensure the optimal development of your child.
Reasons validating which lead to harsh comment and saying hurtful things to their children
There are some factors due to which parents sometimes say hurtful things to their children. The most common factor which is seen in many parents is their stress level and frustration. They are more likely to express their frustration Add their children. Another factor includes their own childhood experiences.
It might happen that they are grown up in such environment where hurtful comments are entertained or not paid that much attention. In search environment, a critical comment or harsh things are not treated as harsh rather they think it as a motivation for their children. Parents might not realise the impact which their words are creating upon their children.
Another factor includes some unresolved conflicts. It might happen that parents may have been involved into a conflict with their child. During that. They might have said certain things that might hurt the child.
Things that you should never say to your child
Parents have your own unique way of bringing up their kids. They do their best to raise them, but nobody’s perfect. That’s why, when they look back, they all want to fix some other mistakes they made in the past.
But parents also should understand the psychology of a child who is still in developing stage. They should restrain themselves from imposing any negative comment upon any child. Some of the most common remarks are listed below which a parent should never use to their child-
- Your words have a psychological impact upon a child. A child can feel guilty, ashamed or responsible for even those things in which he is not faulty. A negative remark from their parents style can make a child doubt about his own abilities. The child might feel inadequate or unworthy of acceptance and love. Using blaming language repeatedly can result into a negative self-concept and emotional distress of a child.
- When parents comment any dismissive or invalidating statement, it sends off signal of rejection to their child. When the emotional wellbeing of a child is not properly acknowledged or taken seriously then he or she might feel insignificant or uncomfortable. It may result into a struggle with expressing their emotion and can even lead to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. Parents don’t understand the significance of emotional validation, intentionally or unintentionally they dismiss their child’s feeling which make them stressed. For a child, parents Rd main source of validation. Parents should help their child in proper regulation of their emotions by empathising.
- Parents always want their children to be successful. But when they make unhealthy comparison, a child peel criticised and constantly judged. The child begins to doubt upon their own potential and leave with an anxiety of constantly proving themselves to their parents. Either this comparison is made with siblings or peer groups, it creates a feeling of resentment towards such children or their parents for perpetuating the comparisons. It might also restrain themselves from developing a healthy self-concept and fostering a positive relationship with others with an idea of unworldliness of love and acceptance.
- Criticism has a harmful effect on the psychological development of a child. It creates a feeling of inadequacy among the child. The child might feel anxiety and have a low self-esteem. A negative remark may be passed upon of physical feature or any certain action. But such words should never be said to any teenager. A parents should focus on the strength of their child and always encourage them towards a positive behaviour. They should not only focus on the mistakes and shortcomings of their child.
- Parents should not threat their children as using threats only creates a fear in the child. As the child is already in a state of psychological development, he or she is not capable of understanding whether the behaviour was appropriate or not. Due to search threats, a child might be obedient to their parent in order to please them or want the love and affection of their parents. At the same time, it creates an unhealthy dynamic where instead of understanding and respect, a child action is motivated by fear.
- Parents should not mark any personal negative comment about the personality, appearance, abilities and interest off their child. With all such negative personal comment, a child’s mind and body is damaged and he feels attacks on his self-image. Children might start feeling anger, mistrust and resentment among their peer groups. He or she can also no sure that he is not understand and trusted among his own family. it will make them emotionally distant from their parents. Instead of imposing any negative comment, you should always encourage providing constructive feedback to your child.
- Parents should not yell at their child as it shows, the feeling of tension, anxiety and fear in the child. During a conversation, when you are constantly yelling at your child, it will make the conversation words and ineffective. Your child might be very impulsive due to such behaviour.
As a parent, try to actively listen to your children. Deep conversation with your children creates a sense of emotional connection with the child. Even when the child is speaking, you should hear them. It might happen that he is facing any obstacle in their cognitive and emotional development. Therefore, effective communication is the key which will lead to a better emotional development of your child. You should have a greater clarity when you are talking to your child. It shows the consistency through which you are listening to your child.
In a nutshell, a huge impact is created on the emotional wellbeing of a child through the words used by their parents. Always create a positive and nurturing environment for your child. encourage your child with positive statements.
